Intro: A E B E
LUKE:
A E B E
Come on, grab some ambrosia and let the nectar flow
A E B E
Why is everyone scraping part of their plate into the fire?
A E
Is the food really that bad?
LUKE:
B
Offering to the gods
E A E B
It's not enough that they're omnipotent and all-powerful
E A
They need to feel appreciated
E B
To the Gods!
ALL:
E
To the Gods!
Chorus:
A E B E
Oh, things couldn't be worse
A E B E
When your parents run the uniVerse
A E B Dbm
Oh, things couldn’t be worse
A E B E
When your folks run the uniVerse
LUKE:
A E
My dad is Hermes
B E
He messengers things
A E B E
You'll know his sign by his shoes with those wings
A E B Dbm
I'd wait by the phone but the phone never rings
Gb
Oh no
A E Ab Dbm
When your dad's a god, life can be tough
A -nc- B E
I met the guy once and once was enough
LUKE:
E
-Spoken- Annabeth?
ANNABETH:
G D
My mom's Athena
A D
She’s smart and she’s wise
G D A D
She’s sworn off gluten and she’s sworn off guys
G D A Bm
But if she came to camp, it’d be a surprise
E
Oh no...
ALL:
E
Oh no...
ANNABETH:
G D Gb Bm
Oh, and my step-mom, she hates me, and my dad works all day
G -nc- A D
So I left Virginia and I ran away
PERCY:
D
Wait, is that true?
LUKE:
D
Everybody!
Chorus:
G D A D
Oh, things couldn't be worse
G D A D
When your parents run the uniVerse
G D A Bm
Oh, things couldn’t be worse
G D A D
When your folks run the uniVerse
LUKE:
D
-Spoken- Alright, who’s next?
KATIE:
D
Oh! Okay, let me see…
KATIE:
G D
My mom’s Demeter
A D
Goddess of grain
G D A D
She gets excited when it starts to rain
G D A Bm
But planting and planting and planting’s a pain
E
Oh no...
ALL:
E
Oh no...
G D Gb Bm
Right! For their sixteenth birthday, my friends got a car
G nc A D
I got a fern in some dumb mason jar
GROVER:
E
-Spoken- Bahahahaha! Ooh, ooh! My turn!
A E
I’m a child of Pan
B E
The god of the wild
A E B E
For those who love nature, they’re often beguiled
A E B Dbm
He’s not really my dad, but I’m sort of his child
Gb
Oh no...
ALL:
Gb
Oh no...
A E Ab Dbm
He went for a hike to explore new frontiers
A E B E
And no one has seen him for thousands of years
Chorus:
A E B E
Oh, things couldn't be worse
A E B E
When your parents run the uniVerse
A E B Dbm
Oh, things couldn’t be worse
A E B E
When your folks run the uniVerse
PERCY:
E
-Spoken- Chiron! Who’s your dad?
CHIRON:
-nc-
-Spoken-Oh, well…
A E
My father is Kronos
A E
Remember my lecture?
B E
He ate his children.
LUKE:
-nc- E
-Spoken- Chiron wins… How about you, Silena?
SILENA:
A E
The goddess of love
B E
My mom’s Aphrodite
A E B E
She tries to be cool, but mainly she’s flighty
A E B Dbm
I’ll bring home a boy, and she’s there in her nightie
ALL:
Gb
Oh no!!!
SILENA:
Gb
-Spoken- It's so embarrassing guys!
A E Ab Dbm
I tried to seek help from even the Fates
A -nc- B E
‘Cause she steals my mascara and all of my dates
LUKE:
F
-Spoken- Alright, Percy, it’s your turn
PERCY:
-nc-
If I try to sing, it’ll probably cause an avalanche...
LUKE:
-nc-
We’re all friends here. Come on, give it a shot.
PERCY:
-nc-
Okay. Um…
PERCY:
Bb F
My mom was named Sally
C F
She loved scary movies
Bb F
And food that was blue and…
KATIE:
-nc-
-Spoken- He’s doing it wrong
SILENA:
-nc-
Yeah, who’s your godly parent?
PERCY:
-nc-
Oh, I don’t know
LUKE:
-nc-
It’s alright. A lot of half-bloods never know their godly parent. Just give it a try.
PERCY:
Bb F
So, my dad is some god
C F
That’s great, I guess
Bb F C F
Did he not want me, or not want the stress?
Bb F C Dm
Too bad he’s the worst and my life is a mess!
G
Oh no...
Bb F A Dm
I hope that he shows even a trace
Bb -nc- C F
‘Cause I’ve got some choice words to throw in his face!
Chorus:
Bb F C F
Oh, things couldn't be worse
Bb F C F
When your parents run the uniVerse
Bb F C Dm
Oh, things couldn’t be worse
LUKE:
F Bb
But I don't care where our parents may be
C Dm
As long as you are here with me
ALL:
F Bb
We don't care where our parents may be
C Dm
As long as you are here with me
F Bb C F
As long as you are here with me!